Thursday, January 27, 2011

What to Watch Wednesday: The Thursday Edition

Awhile ago I referenced wanting to put together a Scared Straight for puppies, due to my puppy's bad behavior of late.

I’m not sure all my dear readers are old enough to get the reference. Honestly, I was just born the year it came out myself, but it was replayed throughout the years and copied on many a TV show over the year, including Maury Povich.

It was created as a documentary and featured juvenile delinquents being placed with hard-core offenders in prison to show them what all their bad behavior and false bravado would get them in prison (these were the days before Oz, so I am sure it was put nicely, but the moral of the story was you either get shivved in the shower or you become some big man’s lady).

Anyway, I mentioned that I had two TV shows driving me to distraction.

The first was Storage Wars. The second?

Beyond Scared Straight!

That’s right, it’s baaaack!

Scott and I took Wee ‘Burb to visit her aunt and uncle at their cabin the weekend this debuted. Our roommate texted me saying: “it’s official: I am scared straighter.”

After watching it we both agreed: if I go to prison, I am finding the easiest way to off myself. I would not last 12 seconds.

I had my own Scared Straight moment inadvertently in my younger years. My mother worked as a chemical dependency nurse on a unit for teenagers who were sent to her instead of going to prison.

One day, I must have had to leave school sick or something, and for a short time I had to kill time on my mom’s unit until someone could pick me up. It couldn’t have been more than an hour, but I recall it so vividly. I watched someone going through one teen’s suitcase and impounding their razor.

I had just started shaving my legs, it seemed the largest indignity to me that not only could the kid use her own razor, but when she did want to shave with whatever approved device was used, she had to do so under the supervision of a nurse.

In fact, lots of stuff had to be done under the supervision of a nurse.

Y’all, that was an eye-opener for me. I NEVER touched a drug in my life. Not until I was given, oh, about 200 of them when I had Wee ‘Burb. When my mom came in to check on me I flat out told her: “How the hell do people get addicted to this insanity?”

Anyway, Scared Straight.

So, the first episode is awesome because it’s a bunch of chick thuglets who think they are all awesome and then pee their little jeans about 12 seconds after the bars close behind them.

Let’s just say, this is the girliest chick in the cell block.

Also possibly the thinnest.

My favorite was Diabla, not pictured here, sadly. Diabla, for those of you not familiar with Spanish, means Devil.

The best part of Diabla? Her tattoo beard.

When we saw the promos and saw “her,” my roommate and I totally thought that it was a dude with an unfortunate five-o-clock shadow.

And we’re like: “why would they have a dude yelling at a bunch of little girls….oooooh, oh my God, not a dude!”

Nope, not a dude.

A woman. With a tattoo beard.

Scared Straight. Hell yes I am!

Are you old enough to remember the real Scared Straight? Have you seen this show? Would you last in prison?


Christina said...

a tattoo beard. omg omg. amazing/disgusting. i can't decide which adjective is better.

Tasha said...

HAHA oh damn! Funny! My mom was a total hippie, and her brother was in prison for life for being a drug addict. So she raised me on lots of drug-horror stories, which successfully kept me from ever doing any type of drug except a little pot in high school. Thanks mom! lol

Kristen said...

I don't remember that show but I'd be interested in watching the current version! I try not to watch these types of reality t.v. but found myself watching Teen Mom 2 earlier this week, uh oh, pretty sure I'm gonna have to keep watching it!

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

@ Christina: you're right on both counts.

@ Tasha: Yeah, prison does it for me. I fear prison more than anything.

@ Kristen: I can't watch Teen Moms anymore. I start to get really upset. It's not idle entertainment now that I have a baby I can imagine witnessing what those poor little babies witness. Shudder.

Anonymous said...

Tattooed Beard.

Tattooed Beard.

Tattooed Beard.

OHMIGOD I'm fixating. I would not last. For a moment. You probably wouldn't get me through the gates.


I didn't watch the original Scared Straight, but I remember it being on.

Kristy said...

I don't remember the original Scared Straight, but had I watched it, I might not have acted as crazy as I did when I was younger. I watched the episode you're referring to, and there's no way I could handle prison!

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

@ Tenaciously: You should fixate. I saw it and I still am fixated on it. I'm convinced if I went to prison I would somehow be injected with testosterone so the head b*tch could have a more masculine lover. And it's on A&E.

Dani @ OK, Dani said...

I totally cried my way through this show. Like...bawled.

Amanda @ It's Blogworthy said...

HOw did I 1) miss this post and 2) miss this TV SHOW?

Oh wait, January 2011? I was in the middle of newborn baby hell ;) I mean that in a nice way.

Catching up on some of your oldies but goodies and this sounds like my kind of show.