Guest Post: Lola Putting the “Cure” in Manicure

You guys, Lola is leaving me for the Motherland this weekend. She'll be gone for two weeks. We chat daily...hourly, in fact. Minutely, mostly. And here you'll see what exactly it is we chat about. I promised her we'll start a fund for her bail if for any reason she's detained in Russia and not allowed back.

 I don’t know if many of you know this, but Stephanie and I love to waste company time. Really, slacking off is never quite so much fun at home, when you’re at your leisure and free to wallow in your own crapulence – i.e., check Facebook, catch up on your favorite blogs, visit stupid sites and Google random things. Personally, I always feel like I’m wasting precious time – I could be vacuuming! And hey, the car needs a wash.

But at work, things are different. You’re not going anywhere, not for the next 8 hours anyway, so you might as well make the most of it. I think this is how people who were stupid and/or lazy enough to go into crime end up getting law degrees and writing best-selling books while in prison. Back on the outside, there are convenience stores to rob! But here, it’s just you and the bunk! So why not attend Harvard Law by correspondence? The prison return address alone makes your admission essay a shoo-in.

So on a lazy Thursday in prison…I mean the office, Stephanie and I got to talking. Strictly girl talking – nail polish, to be exact. And we both love and adore OPI, not least of all because of their colorful (no pun intended) shade names.

We took a stab at coming up with some potential ones, which this is where we discovered that we may have a great career ahead of us in marketing. And so, I bring you The 10 Greatest Nail Polish Names OPI Will Never Go For. (Just so you know, these are mainly on the subject of animal noises – Wee ‘Burb has been rebelliously learning them in French to annoy her mother. But hey, that’s a whole separate blog topic.) So here we go:

#10. “Pre-MOO-nition pink”
#9. “RIBBIT-tickling red”
#8. “WOOF-it-down grey”
#7. “Can I BAA-row a Feeling white” (Kirk Van Houten, you’re our homeboy)
#6. “You bel-OINK to me blue”

#5. Then, an obligatory PSA: “NEIGH-borhood watch black”

#4. While we’re on the subject of horses: “after-NEIGH-n delight”

#3. A big of magic: “Occult-it like I see it lavender”

#2. “MEOW, that's lovely pink”

#1. And, the ultimate, the Numero Uno (drum roll please): Growl-and-Eat-Humans Green (bears). Stephanie, I can’t take the credit for that one, it was all yours!

Any other gems we’re missing? (P.S. if any OPI execs are reading this, my resume and portfolio of other brilliant ideas are available upon request. Lola loves OPI, y’all!)

A Love Affair Renewed

Confession: I am resuming a love affair from my teen years. It started innocently enough, just a taste of the former compatibility, but then…well, then it turned into an obsession. When I remembered how we were together, how we completed each other in ways no other could do.

Oh I had tried others, many others, so many others. People would say “hey, that one’s good, too” but I returned with open arms because…well, they weren’t good, too. Not as good, not even close.

I’m back in love with Neutrogena.

I’ve bemoaned my skin problems here and of course the whole Funky Friday episode.  And I thought I had found the perfect solution here.

But, right before a major work trip and after an ill-advised chapstick switch, I ended up with the worst breakout I’ve had since I was a teenager. If you read my Funky Friday post, then you know it was an unpleasant time for me.

I tried my mint julep masques and other things that had worked in the past. I tried just using Cetaphil products. It just got worse and worse.

A week before my trip, I was losing my mind. I thought about seeing a dermatologist, but I was still reeling from my last visit costing me $500 after she casually said “while you’re here, why don’t I go ahead and remove this mole on your back?”

I asked the pharmacist at Target (the actual pharmacist, not the 12-year-old in a red shirt and khakis who asks me EVERY TIME if I am sure I have the right insurance card because my prescription would actually cost less with cash) if they have anything with more salicylic acid because I want to get nuclear on this face.

Nada.

So I read label after label. I kept coming back to Neutrogena. Back in the day, Neutrogena and Almay products were the only ones allowed to touch my face. But back in the day, they didn’t have 400 choices, or an entire aisle called “ACNE” in Target. An aisle I am just so very pleased to be in at frigging 32 years old, thanks.

After hemming and hawing, I chose this

I figured the fact that it was a 7-day intervention and that was precisely how long I had until my work trip felt cosmically bound. Oh and I had $30 to my name, and this was $20. SOLD!

After two days, I almost cried when I looked in the mirror. Gone were the red angry welts. I still looked like I had broken out, but it was almost coverable by makeup. After two days!

Day 4, my skin looked better than it ever had. Not only had my skin completely cleared, but it was looking healthy again, almost dewy!

Day 7 I entered that airplane confident and secure in my skin…something that’s priceless to me.

Have you tried Neutrogena? Do you have a favorite go-to product when your skin is extra sensitive?

Things I Love Thursday: Mint Julep

No, not to drink, sillies. Well, actually, maybe I would, can't say as I ever have had a mint julep, but when I was pregnant and watching Mad Men, all the preggos were drinking them and they looked lovely and refreshing. Oh, to have lived in the '60s. But I digress.

You all know by now that my hygiene has suffered a tad since working at home. However, I am very meticulous about my skin. I’ve had, let’s say, “problem skin” since I was 13. I practically lived in the Dermatologist’s office.

I’ve tried a bunch of masques, both homemade and over-the-counter. But I came across this gem randomly in a drugstore. I have to say I’ve never really paid much attention to Queen Helene. Typically I see her stuff in the Ethnic Haircare aisle. My Irish side hit me hard with the hair. It’s straight as a board. So I’ve never needed that particular aisle.

I had no idea Queen Helene had broken into skincare, and I am glad I saw this Mint Julep Masque peeking out at me from all the other expensive creams and spot treatments and whatnot. According to the Web site:

“Mint Julep Masque is the original natural home treatment to help dry up pimples, rinse away blackheads and shrink enlarged pores. Simply apply Mint Julep Masque to your clean face and neck. As it firms and hardens within minutes, it draws out impurities from your pores. After the masque is removed, your skin will feel clean, refreshed and smooth. Even for individuals who are fortunate to be free of skin problems, Mint Julep Masque is a refreshing facial treatment that helps relax tired muscles and ease tension lines on the face and neck.”

I have no arguments with any of this. It’s one of the few masques I can use without making my skin feel dry, tight and flaky. I can’t say for sure the pores are shrinking because I’ve not used one of those magnified mirrors since high school, I don’t need that kind of daily view of disfigurement. However, I do notice my makeup goes on better after I use the masque, so there must be something to the claim.

What Queen Helene’s site is, apparently, too modest to say is that this Mint Julep smells AWESOME! I use it twice a week and I look forward to each application. As far as I can tell, there are no ingredients in there that would make sensitive skin go bananas and while it hasn't cured me forever, it has certainly helped some problem areas.

What skin products do you swear by? Have you been surprised by an odd brand before? And if you try this, let me know what you think!