Monday, January 17, 2011

Also...he said it was cool that I spent half my mortgage on makeup!

My husband's family can not accept gifts graciously…EVER. The reasons fall into a few categories: undeserving (“oh don’t spend your money on me, you have a kid to support, you have a house to pay for”), unnecessary (“we don’t need anything, we have all we need, save your money”) and just plane useless (“what am I supposed to do with this? I wouldn’t know what to do with it”).

They don’t understand that I love to give gifts! There’s nothing I like more than walking through a store and stumbling upon something that I think is perfect for someone. I think about their face when they open it, how they’ll use it, where they’ll put it.

The gift is somewhat selfish in a sense, in that I feel good giving it. And I think compliments are the same. Recently on Motherese, she took on the subject of compliments.  And our complete inability to accept them.

I commented on Motherese, telling her about a recent event where I had confessed to some people that I had spent a lot of money on makeup. I was having buyer’s remorse and was looking for a few Facebook friends to tell me I deserved a treat, I never get stuff for myself, etc.

My brother-in-law sent me a very sweet message telling me that if it made me feel good, great, but that I didn’t need that much makeup, I was beautiful without.

My first instinct, of course, was to figure out the most clever way of telling him he was certifiable. I thought “is there an icon that says ‘guffaws loudly’?”

I think about how I hate to have a gift thrown back at me, and I knew I couldn’t throw that gift back in his face. I had to accept it graciously, like an adult.

So I did something totally out of character. I took the compliment. I thanked him, said it was a very sweet thing to say.

My heart grew three times that day. No, but really, it felt good to accept it, largely because I choose to believe like a gift, it felt good for him to give it.

6 comments:

Kristy said...

I believe that a sincere compliment is one of the best gifts one can give. I try to always accept them graciously, just as I do with tangible gifts. Some people seem to think that you're not being humble enough if you do, but I think that's just silly. Good for you accepting the compliment from your brother-in-law!

MsBabyPlan said...

You did very well to accept the compliment. Sometimes we push compliments away, even when we so deserve it :)!

tenaciouslyyours.com said...

When someone is complimenting you, it's always best to assume that the intent of the giver is pure. That being said, it's always easier said than done.

And, regardless of the fact that you deserve a treat and never buy anything for yourself, what sort of booty did you buy?

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

Oh, what didn't I buy? Makeup primer, foundation, tinted moisturizer for those work-at-home days, gel blush that turns to powder, lip plumper (funky stuff, that).

Amanda said...

You know, I have never thought of compliments as gifts, but you're so right! I am terrible at taking compliments. I always have to degrade them. Like I buy a lot of clothes on clearance and sales, so when someone tells me that I look nice I say, "oh well this is just a cheapy dress" or whatever. I can't ever just say "thank you!"

Mommy Nani Booboo said...

You're right, I'm sure it did feel good for him to give you that compliment... and a pat on the back for taking it graciously.
PS-Always know that you may send me copious amounts of gifts, anytime.