I even tried to convince Scott that we should drive away from our wedding in a golf cart. No sale.
Possibly because we were married in a rather urban area and our reception was like 15 miles away.
Details, people, details!
Anyway, for my birthday I asked Scott to book a golf day, where I could drive a golf cart.
I've never golfed before. EVER.
My roommate and Scott have each golfed a few times. None of us has clubs or any of the other required golf paraphernalia, so we went in early to get costumed.
I told the guy flat out we were all newbies and we needed everything. So he set us up with a golf cart and clubs. We were so shocked by the total at that point, we didn't notice something was missing until we got to the golf cart.
We didn't have balls.
So Scott goes back in and looks kind of green at the cost of the golf balls and I'm beginning to get that "bad idea" feeling.
Then we realize we don't have tees.
This time I go in and get tees, which the manager kindly gives me for free. I think he had the "bad idea" feeling himself.
So I'm tentative with the golf cart at first, but then find it as cool as I imagined. We drive to the first tee and while we wait for the foursome ahead of us, we talk to the ranger. He gives us a few pointers and we kind of smile. I ask him what we're aiming for. He points to a flag faaaar away. I think we BOTH get the "bad idea" feeling.
So it's finally time for us to tee up and I'm getting pointers while watching people behind us pile up. We all hit into different areas, and Scott can't even find his ball (tee hee, does golf terminology make you giggle, too?). We park the cart in the general direction of where we think the ball is and while he searches, I do my next few...um, hits? Swings? I'm not sure. Let's say I was at 6 on a par 3 and I hadn't even met the green yet.
This is when the ranger came down. Did we know that we could bring our golf carts on to the green to aid in the search for Scott's wayward ball? We did not. In fact, we had given up at this point looking for his ball and were working on me getting to the green.
We looked behind us and saw more people following us. So we decided to skip this hole and go to hole 2.
I actually got it on the green and I gave a "woo hoo" which I was cautioned by my roommate was not acceptable golf behavior.
Then the manager came down, with the ranger right behind him. Yup, "bad idea" feeling rearing its ugly head.
The manager reminds us that we need to keep up with the group ahead of us on this course. We said we knew, that's why we skipped the hole.
He says "I'm not here to scold you, you did the right thing skipping the hole. I just wanted to offer you something, if you're open to it. We can refund your money and you guys can take the golf carts to the driving range. We'll give you free tokens to the driving range and you guys can hit balls there."
Through laughs I choked out a "thank you, that's a nice offer. We'll take it."
Then we had to drive the golf carts PAST the people lined up behind us and I truly think golf etiquette was the only thing keeping them from clapping and a rousing round of "na na na na, na na na na, hey hey, goodbye."
It's what I would have done.
You guys? That was the most shameful apology tour EVER. We just drove by and waved at all the foursomes behind us, who were all kind enough to wave back and not outwardly laugh at our incompetence.
We had a great time at the driving range, where it's OK to suck.
And they did indeed refund all of our money.
The funny thing? I would totally golf again. We picked a pro course, which was a huge mistake. My roommate suggests golfing as early in the morning as possible under cover of darkness. SOLD!
Have you ever been kicked out of a sporting event?