I Never Learn

In the five years I have known my husband, I have never won a bet.

I’ve won my share of Super Dates.

But no bets.

It took me about three years before I just stopped betting him. He says it’s no fun. I say it’s about preserving our relationship.

But today, you guys, today I was SURE I had him.

We were at Costco and as I was pulling out my checkbook. Scott rather gallantly announces: “I’ll pay for this one.” Yeah, we have separate checking accounts. Let it go, it works for us.

I hesitate for a second and then ask him if he really has that much cash? We had gone a little overboard on olive oil and diapers, people. This wasn’t a small bill.

He looks at me oddly and says he will put it on his card.

I tell him Costco only allows you to use American Express. They were very adamant with me on this point. I choose not to get an American Express, so I always bring my checkbook.

He says he can use his card, no problem.

I start writing out my check. He’s still insisting he can use his card.

So I challenge him: Wanna bet? He immediately says okay. We bet a date night.

I am so smug. I grin at him and say “know what? I am going to sign this check because I don’t want to hold up the line with your wrongness.”

So we get up to the checkout and I ask the girl: “you don’t accept debit cards, do you?”

And I am already packing up the groceries, planning on where to make him take me for dinner. It’s restaurant week next week in Minneapolis, what bliss!

So I barely here her say: “Welllll, some…”

I look at her and sort of choke. But I think I can still save this bet because she may not take HIS debit card.

He hands it to her confidently. Turns to me and grins and says: “I’ve used this here before. A bunch of times.”

BURN!

Although…he did buy the groceries. So, life isn’t all that bad.

But the moratorium on bets is SO back on!