So the other day, the roommate and I are hanging out watching Lifetime movies. As we do. Wee 'Burb was engaged with her blocks and the roommate and I were engaged in our normal movie dialogues that go something like this:
Me: That dude is totally gay. We're to believe he's hanging with Tori Spelling?
Roommate: He's beyond gay. But then, Tori Spelling is built like a guy. Or would be if she didn't have the fake boobies.
From a pile of blocks I hear "GAYYY!" and then a moment later "BOO-BIES!"
Aaaand it's here.
Wee 'Burb has begun to pick up on the words of others.
To say all of us have a potty mouth is rather like saying Kim Kardashian has a slightly large posterior.
Over dinner, we hatched a plan. We would come up with code words to mask our swearing.
What? We're supposed to give up swearing? Please!
So our system was naturally food-related. We determined the answer to our problem was: Mexican Food.
And now our dialogues go something like this:
Me: What the fajita is that quesadilla WEARING??
Roommate: I don't know, but her chimichangas are hanging out of that dress.
Scott: What the frijole are you talking about??
Wee 'Burb is none the wiser and right up until it's Taco Tuesday and daycare and we have some 'splainin to do, it's working for us.
How do you deal with the swearing around little kids? Are you able to just tone it down or do you use code words? My parents used Pig Latin!
Me: That dude is totally gay. We're to believe he's hanging with Tori Spelling?
Roommate: He's beyond gay. But then, Tori Spelling is built like a guy. Or would be if she didn't have the fake boobies.
From a pile of blocks I hear "GAYYY!" and then a moment later "BOO-BIES!"
Aaaand it's here.
Wee 'Burb has begun to pick up on the words of others.
To say all of us have a potty mouth is rather like saying Kim Kardashian has a slightly large posterior.
Over dinner, we hatched a plan. We would come up with code words to mask our swearing.
What? We're supposed to give up swearing? Please!
So our system was naturally food-related. We determined the answer to our problem was: Mexican Food.
And now our dialogues go something like this:
Me: What the fajita is that quesadilla WEARING??
Roommate: I don't know, but her chimichangas are hanging out of that dress.
Scott: What the frijole are you talking about??
Wee 'Burb is none the wiser and right up until it's Taco Tuesday and daycare and we have some 'splainin to do, it's working for us.
How do you deal with the swearing around little kids? Are you able to just tone it down or do you use code words? My parents used Pig Latin!
16 comments:
My worst nightmare is that Maya is going to be suspended from school for saying, "duck f@#ker" per my husband's influence. And there doesn't seem to be a thing I can do about it...
burrito, salsa, margarita.
This is the kind of profanity that makes me hungry.
ha ha, that's too funny! Sadly we've just had to watch ourselves as much as we can... we're limited to damn. Unfortunately my 2yr old now uses damn in his sentences! :(
I love it!! And I agree, I have ALWAYS thought tTori Spelling looked so much like a man!
I can't wait until Wee Burb is older and starts to understand what these foods are and then is like "what???" when she hears you using them. AWE.SOME.
We're not to the "repeats everything we say" stage yet but I've been trying to censor myself (a little) in anticipation of that day. I say spit instead of sh!t, which is lame, but sort of happened naturally when she was fresh & new & spit up I'd say 'Oh, Spit!' I've tried to start replacing the F*bomb with F'ing or F but I'm pretty sure that preschool won't approve of my little one saying "where's my f'ing lunch" or "F-you that's my toy" but as far as I'm concerned it's better than a preschool f*bomb!
I have the worst mouth. I knew it would be hard. Then when my tot was 18 months old he dropped his cheerios and said "awww man, god-damn-it!" The husband shot me a look that told me I needed a plan. We just came back from visiting our friends with a 17 month old who have not converted to this plan and thought we were stinking hilarious.
Just you wait...I told them.
Now? Around here it's all..."what the front door?"
Shameless, I tell ya...
Best,
Tina
Thanks for the laughs, enjoyed this post :)
My cousin has 3 children. She and her husband decided to use animal words to change out the swearing. She said that when she and her husband got into an argument, not only did it keep the swearing away from the kids, but "it was hard to stay mad at someone when you say something like "Well, frog you too."... Lol
Okay, I just laughed out loud when I read, "I don't know, but her chimichangas are hanging out of that dress." :)
Both of my sons (ages 2 and 3) have already uttered "Damn it!" at really awkward times. I'm just glad it hasn't been anything more potentially offensive than that.
My parents swore like sailors and I do too. Although, my mom gives me the stink eye whenever I say something that's not "ladylike". Catch-22 my friend, catch-22.
chimichangas!
Perfect.
And have you seen the salsa on that chick?
Fun Post.
My husband has the worst potty mouth! I'm working on getting him to clean up his act NOW!
The only problem with this post is that now I'm totally craving quesadillas and fajitas! Ingenious way of swearing around the baby without anyone knowing though! Brilliant!
Welcome to the party, Wee 'Burb!
My parents didn't use any mannerisms when we were young, if Dad was going to swear about something (never at us), he would just...do it.
But in Marcus' family, I believe that Barney became a euphemism for...every swear.
Cracking me up! Can't wait to hear how this goes. I spell. But my oldest knows that gig now. Sometimes I just do it. Under my breath. Most of the time. :)
LmBoooo cannot stop laughing my cinnabuns off! Why do let ourselves believe kids don't know what we're saying??? Lol...
Chimichangas hanging out. HA HA HA. This is a great code!
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