Monday, July 25, 2011

The Corer Was Our Separator

Before we get started here, I'm looking for some good folks to guest post for me in August. Comment here or shoot me an e-mail if you're interested.

Recently, I've been reliving my wedding planning with Kat from Tenaciously Yours. Go visit her and offer your congrats on her recent wedding, which if the pictures are any judge, was a complete party.

I wasn't much into wedding planning myself. I was probably the worst bride, not in a Bridezilla way, but in whatever the opposite is. I just couldn't bring myself to care what colors the tablecloth were or whether the flowers matched the cake. Just didn't care.

I only really cared that I looked good in my dress, people had fun, and the groom showed up.

Also? I kind of cared about the registry.

Our registry was a challenge, our first real one in wedding planning. We had made most of our other wedding decisions very quickly (a necessity since we got engaged in February and married in October), but the registry was a bit of a stumble for us.

Scott was of the mind that we should go for the big ticket items, as we already had between us some of the best kitchen tools out there. I was of the mind that if we went for big ticket items, we'd get nothing from our registry and people would take to buying us what they THINK we should have, and spending the week after my wedding in return lines was less than appealing to me.

So we compromised and agreed we would do one registry at Target for the more reasonable registry items and Williams-Sonoma for our more extravagant wants and needs.

Scott virtually skipped into Williams-Sonoma on registry day. Under normal circumstances, we do not enter this store because I begin howler monkey screeching: "$25 for a measuring cup?? I could get four of those at Target for half the price!!"

So knowing he had carte blanche to wander and admire and shoot a gun at items in Williams-Sonoma may have made him happier than me saying I would marry him.

I began to dream of wine glasses, mugs, and serving ware when I heard my name shouted across the store.

Scott was standing near a saleswoman whose eyes told me she was getting commission and was about to buy herself a new living room set.

Thank God I was smart enough to keep the gun myself, but I wandered over and indulgently smiled at the saleswoman. She showed us what I like to call the "trinket aisle." You know the one, right? Magnetic conversion charts, mini spatulas, cookie cutters.

And the piece de resistance: a pineapple slicer and corer.

I wish I had taken a picture of Scott's face when he saw this.

Never mind we had never had a pineapple in our time together. Never mind that we had registered for some very expensive knives that would quite easily cut a pineapple.


I could not talk him out of it.

In retaliation, I registered for a cow coffee creamer. The creamer comes out of the cow's mouth in a barf-like manner.

Source: Williams-Sonoma
So we do the gift opening, and I get the cow coffee creamer and everyone who has heard our story dies laughing.

Scott is slightly pouting. We are corer-less.

For Christmas this past year, my parents broke down and bought Scott the pineapple corer and slicer.

Scott, this is the closest you'll get to a "you were right."

I confess, we do buy pineapple once a month or so. I confess, the pineapple corer and slicer is pretty slick. I confess getting a whole pineapple and cutting it is more economical. I confess a grilled pineapple is one of the most amazing summer treats ever.

Allow me to demonstrate:

Cut the top off the pineapple.


Corer goes in. I totally forgot to cut off the bottom of the pineapple. Rookie mistake.

So I had to cut the skin off the sides.

Out comes the core! Easy peasy!

Cut up to put on the grill. Is there ANYTHING better than pineapple on the grill????
So what registry arguments did you have, or what is on your dream registry when you get hitched?


Mrs. Pancakes said...

I didn't register but I would have loved too in hindsight!! Love that pineapple peeler...awesomeness!!

Mellisa Rock said...

I didn't register since we didn't really have a was just the 2 of us while on vacation, but I have dreamed about registering for ever! Love that corer! If you are still looking for guest posts, let me know what topics you are looking for and when, I'll help!

Life As Wife said...

We didn't have a registry because the hubby and I kinda eloped. (How do you "kinda" elope? Well that's whole another story...) seriously though, we are missing vital gadgets like that pineapple thingy!! Haha

P.S. I would love to help you out in August!

Rach (DonutsMama) said...

We totally argued over flatware! Hubby loved the silverware he had, I wanted something fancier. It was such an argument! I did get new silverware, but it's still sitting in the box nearly 4 years later!

Mads said...

I'm envisioning our wedding registry shopping trip as something akin to Battle Royale. Blood will be spilled.
Mostly because Jonathan will probably want something like a pineapple corer. haha
I really want to register for our honeymoon. Apparently this is possible to do in a non-tacky manner. Hopefully. *fingers crossed*
I would love to do a guest post. Let me know if you are interested in a lapetitepancake-type post.

Amanda @ It's Blogworthy said...

For us, it was the automatic wine cooler. AS in, put the wine on the table and it keeps it at a delightfully cold temperature. Nevermind that the fridge could do it in half the time. It's still in our pantry, only used once.

I hate when Kelsey wants to buy something and i say no, then he does it anyway and turns out that was the EXACT thing we were missing in our lives.

The Woven Moments said...

The pineapple corer is nice and all, but who doesn't want a cow vomiting into their coffee, amiright?

The Woven Moments said...

Also, lemme know if you are still looking for guest posters. Happy to help out. :)

Counselor Musings said...

Great story! I do hope you enjoy that cow creamer:) I just recently heard about the pineapple corer, and I'm wanting one so badly now! I'd be willing to help you out with a guest post if you're still looking for people! just let me know!

Aleta said...

"I begin howler monkey screeching" I shouldn't have read this while in front of people. Busted out laughing and had everyone looking at me like I was nuts. But it was hilarious!

Loved this post! Ohh, I LIKE that corer. Have you tried the apple corer yet? It's one that peels the apple, cores it AND (love this part) SPIRAL CUTS it into pieces, all just with turning a handle. My hubby loves it.

Also, laughed with the cow creamer. So, umm, do you use it? hehe.

We kept our registry pretty small, because Greg had a home and I had a home and when we got married, we had a garage sale for duplicate items. Mostly, we just wanted family and friends... but I did register for a pretty fleur de lis silverware set and got it :)

Kat said...

Oh, this brings me back to The Great Registry Debaucle of 2011. I mean, Marcus basically didn't understand why we were registering for anything, and I wanted EVERYTHING.

Missy said...

LOVE the cow creamer - that screams perfect wedding gift. Let me know if you still want a guest poster. I'd love to! literalmom[@]

Anonymous said...

Hi Stephanie,

I saw your comment on Motherese' blog so I stopped by your blog.

My main blog is at, but I also have another blog at If you want to see a cuter looking cow creamer, here it is for you!

But I see your point about the cow barfing the cream out...

Ameena said...

We had zero problems with our registry because I registered alone! My hubby was working in France at the time and really, I wasn't too disappointed!

What a cool little instrument. I think the best thing we received was our rice cooker. It's the little things that make my day...

Anonymous said...

The corer is pretty slick. Our biggest registry battle was (soon-to-be) Hubby insisting that we needed non-stick pans instead of the stainless that I wanted. He further insisted that he would want to cook a lot more often once we had really good pans. I relented. Thirteen years later, he still doesn't cook indoors. I'm slowly replacing the non-sticks with stainless in an effort to keep the aluminum leeching into our food to a minimum.